Now that my father is back at home, and keeping reasonably well, I believe it is time for me to continue my journey. I don’t know about West ( limited exposure to their society, except of course from the movies ) but I guess we Indians are a bit too attached to parents in general.
I read about the general features of individualistic ( like in US ) and collectivistic ( as in India ) societies over a decade back. Not sure how much of that holds now, but we Indians have definitely gotten worse. There are general pronouncements of ‘ love you Mom’ and ‘Happy mothers’ day’ on social media and lesser substance. I really don’t know who to blame.
And, I have been fortunate enough to have remarkable parents- not everybody is as gifted. I was guided well to inculcate a scientific outlook as well as a critical eye for culture as well. So, I have immense love for my parents for the person they are AND respect for the social beings they have nurtured themselves to be.
Of course, I don’t agree on everything but then that is the beauty of it.
So yes. Happy.
I have watched the first two Harry Potter movies, and all I can say is this:
Why does everybody seem to be in awe of Harry even when he is terrible at everything?
Also, do these kids ever pay attention to what is being taught in the wizard school? I got 5 ( or 6, don’t remember ) F grades and a couple of Academic Probations when I started exploring stuff in college 😛 and look at these people!
If it was not for the few professors who thought I was really good in some courses-which I rather liked, would have dropped out of the best engineering college of India. But that is a whole different story.
Yet to like Harry though
My father, who had a major heart attack recently, was having frequent chest pains and fever with lot of coughing. In the times we are in today, there is always that which comes to your mind. That aside, my mum tried home remedies and paracetamol at home but things were not improving.
Long story short, they travelled 150 kms to the nearest metropolis and got admitted ( with some difficulty because of the fever and cough- doctors are not too willing when it comes to that ). There was this doctor though, who stood for him and asserted that it was all a symptom of lung infection and nothing else. Even in ICU, just one nurse visited my father in PPE since the last 7 days. Eventually, doctor recommended that we take a test. 3 sleepless nights, and breathless phone calls later: here we are. He tested negative.
I have to admit that I wanted to be an atheist so bad. I really did. And, my reading list is pretty much in line with that. But my mum, and her resolve through all this ( both her children are over 4000kms away while she handled it all alone ) compelled me to revive my faith in God. I don’t know how it is going to pan out with Him- but lets just say, we have started talking again.
The point is, we should let our skills and the life we always wanted marinate. And, be ready for the plunge when all this is over, or reasonably over.
I have known for quite sometime now that I am a bad guy in the stories of many people ( none of the ex-s though 😉 ), and on more than one occasion I did not do what I should have. The biggest title on that list is the one concerning my friends from Lucknow.
I was young and brash and made friends with some remarkable girls from a college of Lucknow. They were from what people call high class ( children of politicians, senior bureaucrats, NGO heads ) and I was…well… just a guy who was looking to learn. Learn to be smart and sophisticated. They literally guided me on what to read, where to go when you want to enjoy and more. It was what I call now an ideal friendship.
But I fell in love with a girl ( not from Lucknow ) and over time, she did not like my proximity to the Lucknow people. She called my closest friend from the gang and in all probability, said some mean things ( just because she suspected this Lucknow friend had feelings for me ). I was stupid enough to stick with girlfriend ( who dumped me at the altar later, literally 😛 ) and let them go. Years later, we tried to connect but for some reason or the other- it just did not work out.
During this lockdown, I made a facebook account ( yes I did not have one ) and tried to ascertain the well being of my friends ( who are all settled now ). Quite understandably, they denied my friend request. Just because one can explain something doesn’t mean it should have happened though.
I really wanted to ask them how they were and how they are doing. But like most of things in life, there is a limit to what you can undo.
I don’t remember the minor details of everything that transpired almost a decade back, but this is something that I have not had closure. I have, however, understood- over time, that some things just don’t work out. And, we have to live with it.
PS- On second thought, I don’t have a list of things I would like to undo. This is the only affair I would like to settle in days and years to come. I can, maybe, come back and try again in a decade.